As I prepare to graduate with my MBA I have started to search for some self-deprecating MBA jokes. I have compiled some here, and if you know of any others that are worthwhile to add, feel free to email me.

You know you are an MBA when . . .

• You ask the waiter what the restaurant’s core competencies are.
• You decide to re-org your family into a ‘team- based organization.’
• You refer to dating as test marketing.
• You can spell ‘paradigm.’
• You actually know what a paradigm is.
• You understand your airline’s fare structure.
• You write executive summaries on your love letters.
• You think it is actually efficient to write a ten-page paper with six other people you do not know.
• You believe you never have any problems in your life, just ‘issues’ and ‘improvement opportunities.’
• You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
• You refer to your previous life as ‘my sunk costs.’
• Your three meals a day are a ‘morning consumption function’, a ‘noontime consumption function’, and an ‘even consumption function.’
• You start to feel sorry for Dilbert’s boss.
• You refer to divorce as ‘divestiture.’
• Your favorite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal.
• None of your favorite publications have cartoons.
• You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.
• You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
• At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.
• You decided the only way to afford a house is to call your fellow alumni and offer to name a room after them if they help with the down payment.
• Your ‘deliverable’ for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
• You use the term ‘value-added’ without falling down laughing.

The above taken from gmatclub.com

MBA Guys Describe Marketing:

What is marketing?

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing”

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. “Marry him.” -That’s Advertising”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me – That’s Telemarketing”

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” – That’s Public Relations”

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! Me?” – That’s Brand Recognition”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. – “That’s Customer Feedback”

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. – “That’s demand and supply gap”

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him – “That’s competition eating into your market share”

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – “That’s restriction for entering new markets”